Monday, November 18, 2013

Desperately Seeking Sanity

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss!

Being in a dark place for so long its so hard to focus on the present when your clinging so desperately to the past. Every day the kids get bigger and I'm amazed at what they are able to achieve, I just pray I'm not missing the most important part of their life trapped in this cloud.

It has been brought to my attention that I've been inadvertently shutting people out and hurting them unintentionally.  For that I am truly sorry.  Please understand that when people battle their depression,  sometimes it take all our might just to get out of bed everyday and put on a brave face to face the world with. I've never face depression like this and I don't know what's to come of it but hopefully something good, though I have no idea how.

I've been told the pain isn't gonna last forever, I don't see how that's possible but I know there's only one set of footprints in the sand right now for God is carrying me thru this hardship, I'm not sure why I had to lose my mother so young to cancer, or how not having her is going to make me a better and stronger person especially when I need her sooo much right now. Hopefully it will and it won't be this continued downward spril into a pit of depression.